Does anyone just love home cooked meals a little more during the fall? They're already so warm and cozy, which makes them 10x more warm and cozy during fall because all of fall who doesn't want to be warm and cozy!
My Grandma's making chilli and as much as I don't want to constantly be in the bathroom, it's such a cozy meal. Although I really don't want to share a people with eight other people in this house after they eat it as well. Grandma's always cooking something, maybe not as much as she used too, but she's getting older so we all know how that goes..
My great aunt Mama Ang passed away from a few different cancers earlier this year, and holidays really make me miss her a lot more. She was always the glue to the family, being the light in a room full of darkness. You don't see a lot of that nowadays.
I think that's why I tried so hard to make halloween so special, because I wanted to distract myself from the fact that Christmas is coming up and that was her favorite holiday. Family in my life is so divided and completely chaotic right now, and Mama Ang not being here means that there's no voice in anyone's ear saying "Why the hell would you do that?" and it actually makes a difference.
Before Mama Ang was diagnosed, my Grandma was going through breast cancer. I showed up to every doctor's appointment, every chemotherapy, every radiation appointment, and watched her power through while making an entirely new meaning for being a "Strong Woman". So you can understand my surprise when Mama Ang was diagnosed with more than just one cancer, and didn't want to do anything but let life take it's course.
The same woman that took me to church when I was in the worst mental state of my lifetime. The same woman that stopped me from hurting myself more than I already was. The same woman that answered my phone call after I had prayed so hard I started throwing up, and talked me through feeling better. The same woman that defended me every time an adult in my life disrespected me in any way, let life take it's course.
Don't get me wrong she tried one or two suggestions the doctors gave her, but they must've barely graduated because they didn't catch any of her cancers until stage 4. So she kind of knew there's wasn't exactly anything she or the doctors and medicine could do.
She didn't want a funeral, so we gave her a celebration of life. We all got together, ate some good food, drank some adult drinks, and smoked some good ganja while looking back on all the great amazing memories and crying about it.
If you couldn't tell there's plenty of stoners in my family.
Overall, life has thrown plenty of curve balls in my face. There's always bound to be trials and tribulation in life ain't it? What is there to do except grow from it. Many lessons in life have been learned already and I'm only 22, and what's even dumber is that there's many more to learn and grown from.
But hey, love a good character development trope.
p.s. i hope you all have an amazingly safe time at all of your halloween parties ! <3
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